Monday, January 02, 2012
HAPPY NEW YEAR!! I'm super excited to do this year's resolutions because I think that I have grown a lot this year, and I want to give myself a report card!
1) To achieve ALL of my resolutions and targets, such that I cannot afford to not fulfill any single one. If not resolutions will become meaningless. I should print it out and put in my wallet or something so that I will be always reminded of it. Must be determined to challenge and fulfill them!
Ok after reading whatever below, I obviously didnt )): Shall set less resolutions this year, and when I set resolutions I shouldn't just say only without thinking of what concrete actions to put in. But ya I'm going to print out put in wallet this year!!
2) To maximize my use of time. Not really the same as good time management. I can still have good time management and finish all my stuff but yet spending more time than I should. Don't waste time on unneccessary matters and nuaing, but do stuff that are important and do it fast. Which is why I bought a book and borrow a book on how to use my brain faster and how to speed read.
Wah I dont know how to review this man... I think I still nua quite a lot, especially after I have my iphone jialat >< Will just sit there and start playing random games, although I don't play a lot la. Still reading very slowly... I realized that when I read my readings, I usually forget right after reading it, becuase I don't know how to do it efficiently and effectively. Need to ponder more before during and after reading to have it go in my brain! Was reading this guidebook given to all nus students, it taught SQ3R: Survey(scan through content page etc), Question (prepare questions to focus on reading), Read (first scan reading and rereading to evaluate process and summarise), recall (make precise notes), review (check that questions are answered, impt points are covered)
3) To improve my use of language. Because to want to do media, I need to have excellent command of language. Probably going to read more books about language, and reading in general. Like those very nice very 诗意 stuff so that I can write very beautiful words and not words that are like 白开水><
I've done more reading in 2011 as compared to previous years!:D Both fictional and non-fictional. I guess my writing has slightly improved a little bit. Writing beautifully doesn't come very naturally, but at least I can write something more beautifully when I make myself to do so. Blogging helps a lot:D
4) To be able to feel the mentor and disciple spirit that people kept mentioning and yet I still can't feel it. The only way is to read more into sensei's writings and gakkai publications. And through there strengthen my faith, which is actually much weaker than what people think.
Ok I still havent feel the M&D spirit >< And I havent been reading more gakkai publications. I need to start at least on CL and SSA times!
5) To improve the quantity and quality of daimoku. Must be in more control of my mind, and not let my mind wander off so easily. If during huangcheng period I can clock up more daimoku than now, why I can't I now?
Hmm.. there are low and high times in terms of chanting dmk. There were very strong dmk moments, such as the morning before getting alevel results with evelyn and elaine. And the few nights and mornings during uni finals period, either together with javier or even by myself. But I also slacken a lot in the sense that I start to skip gongyo sometimes when I don't feel like doing it, which is something I would never allowed myself to do so in the past. Even if I do it out of habit, at least I'm doing it. And after finals, I totally zone out can't concentrate when chanting. So I guess the quality of dmk both increased and decreased in 2011, but quantity dropped quite a lot I believe><
6) Be able to develop deeper thinking and thoughts and break through the surface, and have more acute observations to my surroundings. Like more 感性。 When I went taiwan, I felt that writing diary is really very good because it gives you a chance and a quiet time to yourself to reflect on the day's happening and force you to really think. I wanted to do it everyday, but I think it might not be very possible because once I start writing I will write very long. Maybe at least a few times a week bah.
Yay I achieved this (: Yup my thoughts are definitely deeper and more insightful now as compared to the random thoughts I always had in the past. And I think my observation skills improved generally, though it comes at quite selective timing lol. Diary not few times a week, I think that's quite impossible for me actually, but at least I write quite often and not like nothing for few months. And even though I don't write it out, it doesnt mean I didnt think and reflect and have it in my mind. Wah I'm so glad I reached a higher level (:
7) Leave more time for myself to do things that I want, like reading, playing piano, watching movies, catching up with friends.
Yup I did that! Especially during the dec holidays. But they only happen during holidays, probably can improve and let it happen even during semester time hehe^^
8) To be prepared for the adult world and not be so shocked or unprepared for the many complicated matters that I'm going to face in the future. Like being a journalist is more complicated than I imagined after reading the book for PR. Like when people are nice to you, you really wouldn't know if it's for work or true feelings. The line between work and personal life is so blurred. Which is why we should treasure the friends that we make now when we are students (:
Haha I will never know if I'm ready for the adult world until I actually enter it. But definitely I'm more prepared after doing the internship. Or maybe not leh, since zaobao is too nice and friendly Liao... But at least i know that I'm not so naive now, and have better observations to make better judgements. And I'm hearing stories of office politics here and there, so at least I know, just that I hope I won't face them lol...
9) To be a good leader in gakkai by taking more initiative to meet up with members and informing them. When I see people getting active, I really feel very happy!(:
I'm taking a bit more initiative by asking for meals. But that's only twice lol and I only dare to do for people around my age.. But I guess that's not the only thing that makes a good leader. There's much more like contributing to discussion meeting and working together with the other leaders. But I guess there's more improvement from d5, in the sense that I will prepare for the youth sharing that Ronn and I are tasked to do.
10) Be a good daughter, brother, friend, leader etc. Basically any role that I play, I must do it well!
Haha I said brother instead of sister lol! Anyway I think that besides the family roles, I've been doing well for the others. My parents always scold me for behaving well outside, but not at home.
That's something that I really need to improve on, cos I can't anyhow just because I'm at home in my comfort zone and taking for granted the love and care from my family.
Ok somehow when I'm doing this report card I'm quite disappointed, because I think that 2011 was really the best year for me because I grew a lot, just that maybe it's not in the aspect of what my resolutions are. But shall not let my new year resolutions decide for me whether 2011 was good, because when I know it's good, I'm sure it is. And for the friends who were there alongside me and grew together, I'm sure 2011 was an awesome year for you all too!:D Anyway I achieved 5.5/10, which is considerably quite low lol.
Shall move on to 2012 resolutions! But before that want to share something that I sent in one of my new year smses to a group of friends, and I realize it's quite meaningful after re-reading it. 2012 is going to be better because we are in a better shape from 2011's challenges to forge ahead. Before this I was thinking how 2012 is going to exceed 2011's awesomeness, and it seemed a bit difficult to reach the peak again. But then again, we can always set new resolutions and goals, and if we attain them, it will be equally awesome!:D And yes we are now more ready to face challenges and be able to handle them better. So must have the mindset that 一年会比一年好!
2012 resolutions
1) to strengthen my faith and carry out human revolution, where I will learn to care more for others and change my family situation. Since 2011 was a year of great growth in terms of my character and personality, 2012 shall be faith cos I'm more ready to take that challenge!
2) to take concrete actions to become a better daughter, to minimize the unhappy moments and create happy times. This time round it's going to be different, because it's not just smth I want to achieve without knowing how. After how my parents scolded me and the power last dmk of 2011 that I did with my mum and bro, I have a clearer idea of what I can do(:
3) to be able to write more and write better, both in Chinese and English. After the sharing during rhq5 leaders meeting, I realized that the ability to write and speak is not something to be taken for granted, thus I should improve on it and develop it into a skill that will benefit and encourage others.
4) to have more self discipline over myself, not always having my parents to nag. Tidy up my stuff, sleep earlier, chant more and earlier, have healthy lifestyle...
5) get cap 4.5!
6) to always prepare myself for my journalist internship and career. The things that I observe, read, study, learn. This year's internship must really be an impressive one!
7)to have the courage and high life state to talk and have dialogues with anyone, and not just my good friends. Dont always be so dao/shy and dont dare to talk to people that I'm not close to.
8) expand my lifestate by taking on numerous challenges and commitments at the same time, and still performing well in all areas.
Ok that's all for now, shall not be too ambitious and have too many. May 2012 be another fabulous year for all!:D
Can I fly over the rainbow like the bluebirds?
1/02/2012 12:13:00 AM
