Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Didnt manage to study much tonight, but I guess its too late for me to start another lecture slides. I was talking to someone just now, and it was nice trying to see things that are just way out of your perspectives because certain things just don't go your way. When I thought things were bad, there's always things that other people go through that will seem worse. And ultimately I realize that with the life that I'm leading now, my social group of friends, and my socialization process (sorry my mind's full of soci concepts now) my life cant get much worse or complicated.
I guess when people say choose your friends wisely, they really mean it. Because friends are such a big part of your life and it can affect your life so so much. It can affect the kind of relationships you enter, the situations and falls that you face in life, and the resulting attitude that you live with. The attitude and our outlook of life is so important because it will affect how you handle situations in the future. Sometimes I know that I shouldn't just stick in my own social circle all the time, because the outside world is really different and my social circle is so so protected. I'm eventually going out to work, and as I grow old see more unpleasant stuff that are more and more difficult to avoid. But then again, my friends that I have now are people that I really cherish, and I seriously cannot imagine life without them. And that friend just now told me it's good I have such friends, and I must keep them, because such friends are harder to come by as we grow up.
I actually think that my internship went on rather smoothly without major problems because I was still in sheltered place, where my life in zaobao was quite pleasant and a nice working environment with nice colleagues. But I don't know how long all these are going to last, because come to think of it, I think the younger colleagues are different from the previous generation, in the sense that they are more guarded about their stuff, and are more protective of their interests and more materialistic if I were to say. The older generation seemed more filled with passion, which explains why they are still on that job after so many years. I really wonder what's going to happen when the older generation gradually retire, and younger generation like us are going to lead everyone else. Would we still have that strong Chinese values that shaped the culture of the people and the environment? As I grow up and start to understand society better, I really start linking back to my Chinese values much more because I really treasure them when I see how big an impact it actually has. It's really so comforting to know that weiying and I feel the same way (:
"What's the point of trying?" I meant to tell my friend in the bgr sense and not attitude towards life as a whole. Being such an idealist, I believe in fate and all, but I start to understand the practicality of this issue and the reality. For guys, they have to keep trying and trying although they might have fell so hard for so many times, because there's still the gender stereotype that guys are supposed to be the one taking initiative, and that if there's anything wrong, it's always the guys' fault. But if they don't try, nothing will happen because girls are unlikely to take the first move. I dont think all these can be generalized into the stereotypes, but they are true to a certain extent.
This is quite ridiculous and funny, but I had this weird dream last night, and in that dream I felt so much emotions once again. Somehow I dreamt that I was together with this mediacorp actor which I'm too shy to say. I dont know why I dreamt of him specifically, he's not even my idol or anything, I just happen to see his photo on the newspaper the previous day -.- But because of this dream I could really feel for all the things that sociology was teaching me, I felt it 'first hand' in my dream.
There's so much different aspects that were against the norm of what we learn in a family. There's the thing about age, because I'm only a young student, and he's already a mature adult, and we have this huge age gap. So there's the social stigma of age gap, and this age gap leads to differences in how we lead our lives. Like I was still studying and he's already working with money so he can afford to buy a house which the notion of it seemed so far from me. And because he's a celebrity he's rich so he can afford an expensive house with expensive furnishings, which was not what I'm used to. Then there was also the fact that he's from mediacorp and I'm from sph but that's really lame la -.- And in real life, he's already married, although his wife didnt appear in my dream, I wonder if I was the di san zhe lol. (omg I feel damn paiseh talking about all these because it's really such a ridiculous dream, but I really learnt a lot from it!)
Then in my dream, I already noticed all these differences that we had, how we were so different from any normal couple. Age gap, class difference etc, and I felt very torn if it should be continued. Because there's the thing about social stigma how people would view deviances, and how there will be a lot of differences in perspectives and living from the different backgrounds that will be sources of much friction. I really could feel the emotions of having to make such a painful decision (although now a bit forget liao) in my dream and for that hour after I woke up.
When i woke up, I start to feel and understand better how it's not easy for 'deviant' couples to be together, because they have to face differences between the 2 of them, and also how society pressures them. And also the other time when I dreamt about my baby liu chan. Seriously, what other better way to let yourself stand in others' shoes and feel their emotions and learn to understand their perspectives, yet without having to really go through it in real life? Dreams are so wonderful man, I'm really amazed at what it can do. If only we can control our dreams, there's so much to learn from all these dreams and bring them back into real life. Best thing is we can choose only to bring back the moral of the story and not the situation that happened. Hopefully with all these advances in science, someone can create a dream machine where we can programme situations that we want to better understand in our dreams haha.
Ok shall prepare to sleep now and must study liao NO SLACKING!! hopefully I will ahve another educational dream again haha! (thoguh it will mean I won't have a good enough rest><)
Can I fly over the rainbow like the bluebirds?
11/22/2011 02:15:00 AM
